I had another awesometastic workout with my TRav.
I decided to weigh myself & I'm up to at least 115. I cried. Yes. America. I cried. Living proof I am a girl.
I am so discouraged that I haven't words. It makes me wanna cry. again. But give up? No. Makes me more determined to be the me I know I can be. I knew going in that when I put on muscle I'd gain 'weight' but I can not tell you how it hurts to see that scale going up, no matter how good the cause. I don't even know what I'm going to do about it. How can I stand to watch that scale? I refuse to. I'm too fragile. I may break.
but nothing stops this girl. I went on to have a workout, defeated and all.
The past couple of workouts have found me doing new routines, and on nights like tonight I notice new things starting to form on my body. Tonight I noticed my medial deltiod. Yea. Not as big as a mans, but it was there, and it was hard. Made me almost excited. In the wrong way. Is there a wrong way? No. I was proud. Flipping proud. I've worked hard to have things like this come to me. I was so happy about that little victory I ALMOST forgot about my defeat.....almost.
I felt pretty strong tonight & I got to wear my weight lifting belt...I am excited everytime I get to a big enough weight that I get to wear it. Tonight was such a night! :D
tread-warmup
body building-crossed arms front squat (never ever have tried these before! I felt awesome trying 'em!)
45(bar only) 8/8
55-8 FAIL!
(belt time!)
65-5/5/5
stiff legged dead lifts *(I really love doing these)*
65-8
95-8
100-8
100-8
120-3 FAIL!
100-5
rop press down
40-15
40-12
40-10
50-8
50-8
It was a great workout, and I so love working out with my guy. He encourages me & I love seeing him be so strong in the gym. I also love going to the gym & seeing 'my pals' there. Mark and Chris, and Allen all encourage me so. I may not have many friends down here, but it never fails they make me feel wanted in the 'guys room' of the gym & make me smile every time. They never cease to amaze me at their kindness & how they reach out to eachother & everyone that is accepting & open to "pointers". I feel very blessed & lucky to have met them. They are all great guys!
I still see very few girls in there doing the same circuits I do. They are usually on the cardio stuff & There are a few that do weights, but aren't too open to friendship/working out together it seems. And that's okay. I've worked alone and with TRav so long that I probably wouldn't know how to relate to anyone anyway. I did have 1 workout with someone TRav knows, but that was it. Maybe I came on too strong when we worked out together or something. sigh. That's okay. My guys in the gym accept me frizzy hair, accidental farts, tears, groans & strains as lifting weights and all. Not half bad for Kimmie. Not half bad at all.
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